you were the first woman
i went to the ends of the earth for,
tracking where you stashed your score,
your loot, the prize of your theft
and the accomplice paid
to weave you an alibi
that not even light could escape.
i felt a lash of wind
when you tipped your hat, smiled
and your trench coat twirled
as you faded into the crowd.
but i knew eventually you would be found,
where i captured flags and pinned them
into the pages of my atlas, a collection
of butterflies representing six continents.
written beneath each the currency,
local language, and which of your henchmen
i found in each locale.
one day, you’d slip.
we’d finally meet in Istanbul
where i’d look into your brown eyes,
resist pressing against your thighs
and connect your wrists and mine
with my handcuffs.
no one realized
your modus operandi,
that you and your crew
didn’t steal to fund revolutions
or feed the great beast greed.
your thefts had a noble purpose:
tricking elementary schoolers
into learning about our global geography,
especially avoiding Belgium at all costs
because it is the birthplace of the unholiest of vegetables,
the Brussels sprout.
that’s why every time i had you
wrists cinched with stainless steel,
a look in your in your eyes
that’d make any man peel their inhibitions
and hand the combination to the safe
that guarded their very soul into your delicate hands,
i unlocked you and allowed you to fly free,
not giving a damn about my boss
at the Acme Detective Agency.
Carmen, i knew looking at you
your destiny was greater than mine
and i tracked you across the globe,
through the mysteries of space,
and the fickle nature of time
and every time i caught you,
i’d have to let you go
for you were never meant to be behind bars
as long as you could teach children
the capital of Cape Town, great moments
in history, the geometry of stars.
i hoped that one day,
i would trap you with the hardness
of a diamond engagement ring
and when you walked down the aisle,
Rockapella would sing
the question that everyone in their life
asks: where in the world is Carmen Sandiego
and i would finally answer, right here beside me
somewhere in Portugal. now catch us
if you can.